Tuesday, 11 June 2013

About Energy

Some people give energy, others take it.

I know: a bold statement, highly un-scientific, over-simplified. No research has been done, there were no opinion polls; I'm just dropping this on you.

And at the same time I know you are likely to agree.

There's such a thing as collective awareness. Something that has never been studied in-depth, is not part of our education, but we all know.

Over the course of decades I've heard it dozens of times: "He's a taker", "she gives you energy", "I am always so positive after meeting him", etc.

Yes, sometimes we meet a person, and afterwards we are filled with energy, inspiration, creativity, lust for life and for work.

We come home and find we are able to tackle that task, finallly have that dreaded conversation, write that difficult blog, give our wife that present... the happiness and productivity spreads.

Then we meet another person, and come back home drained. We are negative, full of doubts, can't concentrate on a single thing, and only would want to have a long sleep.

We are depressed. Which only means: we have to recharge the batteries. We are low on energy. It has gone somewhere. To that other person. Or he or she has highjacked it, or brushed under the carpet, or just hurt it. And the circle of happiness and productivity stops.

How can a person give you energy? With a smile, a listening ear, an attitude towards you that makes you feel appreciated, a few words that tell about sudden, real connection.

It's not more difficult than getting a TV back to work: a tap on the shoulder can do it.

Does such a person who transmits energy... loose that energy? Not at all. For in most cases you will be a miror, reflecting the light that you received.

It is so good to surround you with people who transmit energy. At the risk of sounding a tad 'new age': You become the human equivalent to a mirror palace, receiving and reflecting light ad nauseam.

If you find you have to keep tapping the TV, very hard, and nothing works, and you start to organize screwdrivers and hammers... and the TV keeps being grumpy and forever throwing up new problems... run. Unless you really love that other person.

For all you are doing is spending all your energy without getting anything back.

That might sound highly egoistic, but remember: there are millions of others who are in need of your energy, who want and need you to be strong and energetic: it's to nobody's advantage if you too stop that line of happiness.

We are not alone in this world. Our whole social circle - or 'tribe' - functions like a ladder, forever helping each other towards a better or more satisfying life. You, me, all of us, can function as sports of that ladder. Nobody wants your sport to be broken or weak.

So I come back to a saying I only heard for the first time some months ago, and of which I only recently came to understand its wisdom: choose your friends wisely.

For they will decide whether you will spiral upwards, or downwards.

There is social pressure, cultural determination, genetic depence, traces of traumas and childhood experiences... so many elements that steer us and determine our present state of mind.

ONE way you can influence or totally change your life, is by focussing on the positive people you know.

Don't take their energy, but share it.

Thanks for reading!



  1. Ben,

    Some people radiate and share energy with others and some just suck energy from everyone. It depends on if the person is giving and sharing or if he/she is a "user". Humour is a method to share energy as an example or just a pat on the back or a smile to a stranger. On the opposite side of the coin - a dour, serious, negative person tends to drain us of energy. Having energy or not is largely our own perception as we can ignore those that would pull us down or we can ignore our own environment's negatives and focus ourselves on turning minuses to positives. As a personal note, I think gardening is a way in which I improve the negatives into satisfaction and energy.


  2. True. A very good topic.
    Mind that a person who drains you or me, might have the opposite effect on others; for example since they are peers in many aspects. He might find you or me a negative influence.